This Should Clear Things Up for U.S. Tourism
“President Donald Trump has appointed Nick Adams, a conservative ‘alpha male’ influencer and author, as the ‘special presidential envoy for American tourism, exceptionalism and values’ as of March 17, 2026, according to The New York Times. This role focuses on promoting U.S. tourist attractions and national monuments.”
When I am asked about Trump and his impact on the economy more broadly—on panels, at conferences, or while standing awkwardly at the coffee station at a networking break—I say the same thing: Trump built his fortune in the business. Hotels, casinos, an airline, steaks. This is not a man unfamiliar with hospitality.
Have no fear.
Trump Derangement Syndrome, I explain, is the new Covid. The problem isn’t Trump. It’s how we interpret Trump.
The latest appointment of “alpha male” Nick Adams should put any lingering doubts to rest. At last, a clear signal to the global travel community that America is ready to welcome the world back—with confidence, with clarity, and with a tremendous amount of light, possibly injected.
As Trump once observed when discussing Covid and its response to disinfectants, it “hits the body with a tremendous — whether it's ultraviolet or just a very powerful light.” And what is tourism, really, if not the application of brightness to a segment of the population looking to better themselves?
If travelers have recently begun convincing themselves there have to be better places to visit than our nation’s capital or our national parks, this appointment should correct that.
Where does a “culturally misaligned” Sydney, Australia-born “Green Card Warrior” and now naturalized U.S. citizen with boundless love for the freedoms he associates with his new home turn for help to convince in-bound international travelers that America’s all that? How does one get up-to-speed on inbound travel trends, visa friction, TSA wait lines, and the delicate balance between national identity and global appeal? His kitchen cabinet, otherwise known as the manosphere, of course.
Here are a few tips his fellow “red pill” tribesmen have suggested on Adams’ X account, in a tone best described as both inspirational and entirely in capital letters:
Hooters, Buffalo Wild Wings and Cracker Barrel will be bestowed Michelin stars. (Or, in lieu of that, we’ll make due with five-star ratings from some other tire manufacturer.)
Yosemite will be renamed “Yose-Might,” to better reflect the park’s underlying strength profile.
The word “trip” will be eliminated. Better yet, obliterated. Visitors will now take “excursions.” A trip suggests hesitation. An excursion commits.
International visitors will be required to demonstrate social media platform literacy. Male visitors must maintain active, paid subscriptions to at least three bonafide American OnlyFans creators. Female visitors must demonstrate a viable, profitable content strategy.
Visa wait times will be reduced to no longer than the time required to pass through security at George Bush Intercontinental Airport.
Cardi B and Kid Rock will be appointed to replace Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg as TEAM USA’s Summer Olympics cultural ambassadors.
Hotel elevators will provide real-time digital tickers tracking tourism’s growing share of what is sure and soon to be the growing U.S. trade surplus.
Who needs soccer! Please bring NFL games back to the U.S.!
UFC on the White House lawn. Wait, that’s already happening.
It is easy, in moments like these, to overthink things -- to search for deeper meaning, to attempt to reconcile tone with a strategy, or with a policy, or with a desired outcome.
But that, we have learned, is the mistake. It’s more effective to dazzle, entice, and to appeal to the collective nerve which yields the aforementioned derangement phenomenon attributed to the current executive branch. The more outrageous, the better we feel, as we know we can and should do so much better.
Tourism is not about making sense. It is about making an impression. And if that impression is slightly confusing, occasionally contradictory, but delivered with absolute certainty, then that’s the plan. What it will spawn is anybody’s guess.